This just in: New York is the cocaine capital of the world. (The management aims to please. Ask for a cocaine-related post, and you'll probably get it.)
Now, I know what you're thinking: "No shit." Calling New York the blow capital is like calling Los Angeles the fake tit capital or Bayonne, New Jersey, the wasted lives capital. But a new research study by Nuremberg's Institute for Biomedical and Pharmaceutical Research (IBMP) has indicated usage of heretofore unimagined magnitude. A brief abstract:
"IBMP teams searched the Hudson River and found the by-products of a projected cocaine consumption totaling 16.4 tons per year. There are approximately 3.4 million people aged 15 to 65 living in the Hudson's watershed. According to the United Nations "World Drug Report," 2.8 percent of Americans in this age group use cocaine at least once a year. That would mean that about 95,000 people are responsible for an annual consumption of 16.4 tons of pure cocaine -- a per capita rate of 172 grams per year."
In other words, Pete Doherty and Justin Hawkins have been secretly living in New York City. Did Whitney and Bobby have a pad here, too? No wonder a brisk swim in the Hudson always leaves one feeling so invigorated.
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